Oh... to have all the answers to all the world's problems

Here is the one thing I will always say motherhood has taught me... What you once thought you knew about parenthood BEFORE you had kids, just crumble it up, stomp on it, set it on fire and throw that s*** out... because that three year old you love so much just took every single thought you ever knew about being a parent and proved it unimportant or blatantly wrong.

To say one's life is "easy" or "without troubles" is just silly. Yes we can chose whether to focus on the positive or on the negative but each life comes with struggles and triumphs, mountains and valleys. As a self proclaimed "know it all" once when it came to how to raise children, I realize now I should have smacked myself a good one and just accepted that you live and you learn, each child/family dynamic is different.. and here is the kicker, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. So when condemning that mother whose child is screaming in the aisle at the grocery store while she stands there completely embarrassed and seemingly overwhelmed, think twice... because one day.. you WILL stand in those shoes too.. So give her an understanding look.. or a "we have all been there.. keep up the good work mom." Because the LAST thing she needs, is the "stare"... you know the judgmental one that could set fires in her. Build her up..even if she is wrong.. still build her up with love.. not condemnation.

Parenthood and raising our children should be a village effort. I can remember growing up and going to church and knowing that if I was bad, there would be about ten different "mamas" in hearing distance that would quickly discipline me if I needed it. I knew that they would not hold back because they got it.. the church was a village, they were there to help mold me into who I am today.. and let me tell you.. I could not be more thankful. When my mom had had enough, I know that those ladies would help out. They would lend a hand, ear, or shoulder whenever she needed. Their doors were always open to us kiddos. That village was a strong one lemme tell you. And I miss it. It was my safe place as a child. As an adult, and a mother, I am searching for that village for my children. For me as a mother, that support system is SO important. As a Christian, it is crucial to my inner most being. God calls us to love each other. And not simply the love in good times, but love in those hard times. Those times where you see someone hurting, fighting to stay above water... those are the times where we should love.

So I guess here is the end of my rant...(and believe me.. I need this statement on a daily basis as well) When feeling the urge to condemn, judge or "advise" someone in a negative way.. instead look for a way to build them up in love.. Offer a helping hand, a few words of ENCOURAGEMENT (and I mean encouragement... not something with a hidden meaning), a prayer, a common understanding etc...

As for me.. I am going to continue loving my kiddos through thick and thin.. however.. on these bad days (and yes there seem to be more of those then good with a sick 3 month old and a testy three year old).. I will chose to wallow in self pity for a few moments and then remember I am blessed.. I am loved.. and this too shall pass.... But for now.. I need a glass of wine, a huge hug from my husband and a NAP!