Ok it is that time for me... time to face some realities that are not so fun to acknowledge...
#1 being quite evident. I stink at keeping up with a blog. however, it is such a therapeutic outlet that I am determined to better manage my time in order to post. My goal is to post at least once a week!...
#2.. my family has far too much "stuff"... As a stay at home wife and mother, the majority (and I mean like 99%) of the cleaning, organizing, etc falls solely on me and lemme tell you.. in this home, and family, that is a full time job on its own.
#3. baby boy #2 is totally rocked my world.. In both good and bad ways! Good, the love between my two boys is just indescribable.. however, my control of this home and our schedule etc basically has been thrown out the window. Managing two kiddos, one who has new demanding hobbies and activities (school, tee ball, friends) and the other little kiddo who is determined to simply make his own schedule that includes early bedtimes and earlier wake ups!
With those things said I have decided.. it is time... beyond time actually.. time to simplify, reorganize, re calibrate our little household, financially, physically, emotionally.
My main concern as of lately has been budget. We are a single income family. In Georgia, cost of living was much simpler, Houston, not so much. Add in cost of new activities, groceries (not bought in a commissary), and gas due to my husband horrid commute, we are coming up with new ways to stretch a buck (we as in me).
So here are my goals.. and I will be posting on them periodically
#1 simplify... there are quite a few categories within this...
Stuff-Naptime thankfully has started to happen more consistently... thus it is going to be my clean out time. Each day I will have an area in which I want to organize and simplify.. Weeding through things we do not need and then figuring out what to sell and what to toss and what to donate.
As soon as I work up a list and realistic expectation I will share it with pictures and progress shots.
#2 groceries - It is nothing new to think that as a single income family we eat at home A LOT.. and that falls solely on me.. I meal plan and attempt to keep it as organized and healthy as possible. Keeping this on budget is SOOO tough.. my goal is to simplify this. Lunches propose the worst issue for me.. I pick up J from preschool and it is so much nicer to just run through chick-fila or subway instead of just making something at home. I mean lets face it, cooking AGAIN and cleaning it up AGAIN just doesn't sound so fun right.. and those leftovers, well they are getting so old and gosh darn it I can easily talk myself into deserving a $6 meal... BUT those $6 add up quick especially when you are including a kids meal. So I am leaving a "fun lunch" to once a week (preferably on Friday after a good week of school).
We typically only eat out as a family for dinner maybe once a week. And that isn't too hard to stick to or hard on our budget. We use coupons and don't go crazy and only order water.
#3 activities - I find myself pushing myself to the limit with thinking we have to go go go go ... mainly because that is my husbands personality and I am trying to keep up, but mainly because I want my son's lives to be enriched and exciting. However, what am I raising ya know, someone who can't entertain himself? Someone who expects to go go go and can't appreciate a quiet moment? And more than anything, what am I trying to prove? That I can run myself so ragged that I literally crash?... so here is the thing.. we are choosing one activity a season, this season is it tee ball. I am cutting out a moms group and hoping to replace it with a care group from church (for my own sanity). And not put so much pressure on myself to have something to do every single day, or a play date constantly. Hopefully this will simply my stress level with regards to that!
#4 household duties..
I truly believe this will be so much easier with less "stuff"... less things to put away, less things to organize and keep clean. Also sticking to my cleaning schedule and delegating some duties more, including to J.
Ok so.. first up on this list is organizing and purging my closet..... this should be interesting and fun...
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Oh... to have all the answers to all the world's problems
Here is the one thing I will always say motherhood has taught me... What you once thought you knew about parenthood BEFORE you had kids, just crumble it up, stomp on it, set it on fire and throw that s*** out... because that three year old you love so much just took every single thought you ever knew about being a parent and proved it unimportant or blatantly wrong.
To say one's life is "easy" or "without troubles" is just silly. Yes we can chose whether to focus on the positive or on the negative but each life comes with struggles and triumphs, mountains and valleys. As a self proclaimed "know it all" once when it came to how to raise children, I realize now I should have smacked myself a good one and just accepted that you live and you learn, each child/family dynamic is different.. and here is the kicker, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. So when condemning that mother whose child is screaming in the aisle at the grocery store while she stands there completely embarrassed and seemingly overwhelmed, think twice... because one day.. you WILL stand in those shoes too.. So give her an understanding look.. or a "we have all been there.. keep up the good work mom." Because the LAST thing she needs, is the "stare"... you know the judgmental one that could set fires in her. Build her up..even if she is wrong.. still build her up with love.. not condemnation.
Parenthood and raising our children should be a village effort. I can remember growing up and going to church and knowing that if I was bad, there would be about ten different "mamas" in hearing distance that would quickly discipline me if I needed it. I knew that they would not hold back because they got it.. the church was a village, they were there to help mold me into who I am today.. and let me tell you.. I could not be more thankful. When my mom had had enough, I know that those ladies would help out. They would lend a hand, ear, or shoulder whenever she needed. Their doors were always open to us kiddos. That village was a strong one lemme tell you. And I miss it. It was my safe place as a child. As an adult, and a mother, I am searching for that village for my children. For me as a mother, that support system is SO important. As a Christian, it is crucial to my inner most being. God calls us to love each other. And not simply the love in good times, but love in those hard times. Those times where you see someone hurting, fighting to stay above water... those are the times where we should love.
So I guess here is the end of my rant...(and believe me.. I need this statement on a daily basis as well) When feeling the urge to condemn, judge or "advise" someone in a negative way.. instead look for a way to build them up in love.. Offer a helping hand, a few words of ENCOURAGEMENT (and I mean encouragement... not something with a hidden meaning), a prayer, a common understanding etc...
As for me.. I am going to continue loving my kiddos through thick and thin.. however.. on these bad days (and yes there seem to be more of those then good with a sick 3 month old and a testy three year old).. I will chose to wallow in self pity for a few moments and then remember I am blessed.. I am loved.. and this too shall pass.... But for now.. I need a glass of wine, a huge hug from my husband and a NAP!
To say one's life is "easy" or "without troubles" is just silly. Yes we can chose whether to focus on the positive or on the negative but each life comes with struggles and triumphs, mountains and valleys. As a self proclaimed "know it all" once when it came to how to raise children, I realize now I should have smacked myself a good one and just accepted that you live and you learn, each child/family dynamic is different.. and here is the kicker, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. So when condemning that mother whose child is screaming in the aisle at the grocery store while she stands there completely embarrassed and seemingly overwhelmed, think twice... because one day.. you WILL stand in those shoes too.. So give her an understanding look.. or a "we have all been there.. keep up the good work mom." Because the LAST thing she needs, is the "stare"... you know the judgmental one that could set fires in her. Build her up..even if she is wrong.. still build her up with love.. not condemnation.
Parenthood and raising our children should be a village effort. I can remember growing up and going to church and knowing that if I was bad, there would be about ten different "mamas" in hearing distance that would quickly discipline me if I needed it. I knew that they would not hold back because they got it.. the church was a village, they were there to help mold me into who I am today.. and let me tell you.. I could not be more thankful. When my mom had had enough, I know that those ladies would help out. They would lend a hand, ear, or shoulder whenever she needed. Their doors were always open to us kiddos. That village was a strong one lemme tell you. And I miss it. It was my safe place as a child. As an adult, and a mother, I am searching for that village for my children. For me as a mother, that support system is SO important. As a Christian, it is crucial to my inner most being. God calls us to love each other. And not simply the love in good times, but love in those hard times. Those times where you see someone hurting, fighting to stay above water... those are the times where we should love.
So I guess here is the end of my rant...(and believe me.. I need this statement on a daily basis as well) When feeling the urge to condemn, judge or "advise" someone in a negative way.. instead look for a way to build them up in love.. Offer a helping hand, a few words of ENCOURAGEMENT (and I mean encouragement... not something with a hidden meaning), a prayer, a common understanding etc...
As for me.. I am going to continue loving my kiddos through thick and thin.. however.. on these bad days (and yes there seem to be more of those then good with a sick 3 month old and a testy three year old).. I will chose to wallow in self pity for a few moments and then remember I am blessed.. I am loved.. and this too shall pass.... But for now.. I need a glass of wine, a huge hug from my husband and a NAP!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Run down
As a stay at home mom of two boys (wow I really just wrote that.. TWO BOYS.. ahh) I have a tendency to feel very run down by the repetition of my day to day.. Wake up , feed baby, change diaper, clean bottles, cook breakfast, wake up three year old, make breakfast, chug coffee, play, fight with baby to go to sleep, gets him to sleep, brother wakes up baby.. etc and so on ALL DAY LONG and lets not even get into the whole running a household and trying to do errands and please my husband and get dinner on the table... Leaves VERY LITTLE time for just me! It has all compounded hard on me these past few months with Aiden being quite a difficult little man to soothe and Jaxon being such a go go go go go child. He is not used to being cramped at home all day and definitely not ok with being sent to play on his own while mommy focuses all of her attention on someone else. So needless to say my stress level has been maxed out lately..
Now some may find this as odd but oh well.. it is me and I have come to simply accept my uniqueness and Thank my wonderful Creator for giving me my gifts, but when I get stressed I clean. I am usually quite OCD anyway and well even with two kids I try my hardest to keep everything running smoothly. A unorganized mess can lead me into an anxiety attack quicker than anything else in the world. So you can only imagine the state of my house after a) moving across the country WHILE pregnant and b) having a newborn who consumes every ounce of energy you have... Needless to say at any given moment I could break down at the sight of my house and the state of my "stuff" that was strewn all over. I was utterly embarrassed if anyone came over and still am at times.
So now that my little man is consistently taking better naps IN HIS CRIB (and not on me).. and my bigger little man is still napping and going to preschool, I am slowly finding the time to organize and beautify my home again, to my standards.
Now here is the thing. I have had a lot of my friends and acquaintances ask for advice on organizing from a complete wreck... well here is my advice.. ONE STEP AT A TIME.. one item at a time.. one room, one shelf etc..
Here is my strategy when going through my home right now..
1) Access your stuff and your home..
Go through each room and establish your purpose for that room and try to envision the room how you want it with what you want in it.
2) Start sorting your piles..
Here is where it gets tricky for me... Pick a pile.. any pile.. go through it.. not organizing it per-say but instead throwing it in the room in which it belongs. By the end of your "piles" you will have one BIG MESS in each room..
3) pick a room any room
Now comes the fun part... pick a room to work on... Now start to "organize" that pile. Make mental notes of any supplies you may need to help organize it better. Baskets, bins, labels etc.
4) Divy up your budget
After figuring our supplies you will need start to prioritize them. Such as.. lets say in the kids play room.. the room that is used the MOST on a daily basis. you desperately need storage, possibly something like a big book case or shelving. Now on those shelves you may need baskets etc to make it "pretty"... but first you need the book shelf.. That would be your first purchase. Now I am NOT a person who buys ANYTHING full price. I LOVE thrift shops and I LOVE a bargain. So Try to think outside the box. Personally.. for our play room, I would have loved a huge bookcase thing from Ikea, but our budget didn't allow this.. so I settled on plastic shelving from lowes for $19.99 and it works for us for now. The key for me was to get toys up and off the floor. Oh and repurpose things.. I do it all the time.. Use an empty cereal box (painted or covered with scrapbook paper) as a way to collect coloring books etc..
5) be realistic... if you have children who are anything like my three year old.. toys are a huge problem. And picking up those toys can lead to major meltdowns, especially if they do not put them right back where you had them.. thus causing chaos.. this is where I LOVE BUCKETS.. they have these $5 plastic buckets at walmart that I loaded up on... It is much easier to get Jaxon to throw his toys in a bucket then to put them on a shelf. We make a game of it... Then while the toys may not be aesthetically displayed on a shelf, they are at least in one area off the floor!
6) Reaccess... once you have gone through and slowly purchased things to help organize (PS my favorite buys are always from Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Homegoods and even the dollartree.. never ever ever buy baskets from target, pier one, Michaels etc without checking these places first)... Go back through and re-access your organization. Sometimes you will find things that just don't work. This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I will give you an example in a bit.
7).. now here is the kicker.. the #1 thing that causes people to live in chaos again... PUT STUFF AWAY... While in my senior year in high school, I was given the opportunity to live with a deacons family in my church to finish high school because my parents were moving out of the state... While living there Mrs Helen shared with me THE BEST ADVICE EVER... and I still stick to it.. it is the "touch it once rule"... When you have something that needs to be put away... touch it one time. In other words, put it back where it belongs.. By simply moving something out of your way, instead of putting it away, you are going to be using double the time, double the energy to actually put it away when the time comes.. ... I am constantly telling my husband this. Instead of throwing that in the garage.. take the extra two seconds to put it back in the toolbox where it belongs... if instead you just throw it in the garage.. then it will join the ten other things you just threw in the garage until it becomes a big chaotic mess that you have to spend all day Saturday organizing again! .. see my point?
Here is an example of this in my household.. When we first moved in the house I had an idea of how I wanted things. How I thought things would work for us as a family of four. And as usual I was wrong and we have been tweaking things ever since. See that is the thing with organization, it is a never ending process. So on one particularly stressful day, both boys were FINALLY ASLEEP and I started on my quest even though I was exhausted and should have taken a nap.. I needed to decompress (thus organize something). I wanted my computer in a more accessible area. I wanted less toys downstairs (less to clean up quickly when someone is coming over) and I wanted my arts and crafts stuff downstairs so I have it close to work on something fun with Jaxon when/if aiden is napping!... So I set to work.. made piles of stuff.. organized and jotted down what I needed..
I ran to my favorite Ross... grabbed beautiful baskets, set them up and then bam :: Arts and crafts bookshelf:: Plastic bins were from dollar tree.. total for the transformation was like maybe $50... the baskets on this shelf were $8.99 and $9.99 from Ross...
Now some may find this as odd but oh well.. it is me and I have come to simply accept my uniqueness and Thank my wonderful Creator for giving me my gifts, but when I get stressed I clean. I am usually quite OCD anyway and well even with two kids I try my hardest to keep everything running smoothly. A unorganized mess can lead me into an anxiety attack quicker than anything else in the world. So you can only imagine the state of my house after a) moving across the country WHILE pregnant and b) having a newborn who consumes every ounce of energy you have... Needless to say at any given moment I could break down at the sight of my house and the state of my "stuff" that was strewn all over. I was utterly embarrassed if anyone came over and still am at times.
So now that my little man is consistently taking better naps IN HIS CRIB (and not on me).. and my bigger little man is still napping and going to preschool, I am slowly finding the time to organize and beautify my home again, to my standards.
Now here is the thing. I have had a lot of my friends and acquaintances ask for advice on organizing from a complete wreck... well here is my advice.. ONE STEP AT A TIME.. one item at a time.. one room, one shelf etc..
Here is my strategy when going through my home right now..
1) Access your stuff and your home..
Go through each room and establish your purpose for that room and try to envision the room how you want it with what you want in it.
2) Start sorting your piles..
Here is where it gets tricky for me... Pick a pile.. any pile.. go through it.. not organizing it per-say but instead throwing it in the room in which it belongs. By the end of your "piles" you will have one BIG MESS in each room..
3) pick a room any room
Now comes the fun part... pick a room to work on... Now start to "organize" that pile. Make mental notes of any supplies you may need to help organize it better. Baskets, bins, labels etc.
4) Divy up your budget
After figuring our supplies you will need start to prioritize them. Such as.. lets say in the kids play room.. the room that is used the MOST on a daily basis. you desperately need storage, possibly something like a big book case or shelving. Now on those shelves you may need baskets etc to make it "pretty"... but first you need the book shelf.. That would be your first purchase. Now I am NOT a person who buys ANYTHING full price. I LOVE thrift shops and I LOVE a bargain. So Try to think outside the box. Personally.. for our play room, I would have loved a huge bookcase thing from Ikea, but our budget didn't allow this.. so I settled on plastic shelving from lowes for $19.99 and it works for us for now. The key for me was to get toys up and off the floor. Oh and repurpose things.. I do it all the time.. Use an empty cereal box (painted or covered with scrapbook paper) as a way to collect coloring books etc..
5) be realistic... if you have children who are anything like my three year old.. toys are a huge problem. And picking up those toys can lead to major meltdowns, especially if they do not put them right back where you had them.. thus causing chaos.. this is where I LOVE BUCKETS.. they have these $5 plastic buckets at walmart that I loaded up on... It is much easier to get Jaxon to throw his toys in a bucket then to put them on a shelf. We make a game of it... Then while the toys may not be aesthetically displayed on a shelf, they are at least in one area off the floor!
6) Reaccess... once you have gone through and slowly purchased things to help organize (PS my favorite buys are always from Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Homegoods and even the dollartree.. never ever ever buy baskets from target, pier one, Michaels etc without checking these places first)... Go back through and re-access your organization. Sometimes you will find things that just don't work. This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I will give you an example in a bit.
7).. now here is the kicker.. the #1 thing that causes people to live in chaos again... PUT STUFF AWAY... While in my senior year in high school, I was given the opportunity to live with a deacons family in my church to finish high school because my parents were moving out of the state... While living there Mrs Helen shared with me THE BEST ADVICE EVER... and I still stick to it.. it is the "touch it once rule"... When you have something that needs to be put away... touch it one time. In other words, put it back where it belongs.. By simply moving something out of your way, instead of putting it away, you are going to be using double the time, double the energy to actually put it away when the time comes.. ... I am constantly telling my husband this. Instead of throwing that in the garage.. take the extra two seconds to put it back in the toolbox where it belongs... if instead you just throw it in the garage.. then it will join the ten other things you just threw in the garage until it becomes a big chaotic mess that you have to spend all day Saturday organizing again! .. see my point?
Here is an example of this in my household.. When we first moved in the house I had an idea of how I wanted things. How I thought things would work for us as a family of four. And as usual I was wrong and we have been tweaking things ever since. See that is the thing with organization, it is a never ending process. So on one particularly stressful day, both boys were FINALLY ASLEEP and I started on my quest even though I was exhausted and should have taken a nap.. I needed to decompress (thus organize something). I wanted my computer in a more accessible area. I wanted less toys downstairs (less to clean up quickly when someone is coming over) and I wanted my arts and crafts stuff downstairs so I have it close to work on something fun with Jaxon when/if aiden is napping!... So I set to work.. made piles of stuff.. organized and jotted down what I needed..
I ran to my favorite Ross... grabbed beautiful baskets, set them up and then bam :: Arts and crafts bookshelf:: Plastic bins were from dollar tree.. total for the transformation was like maybe $50... the baskets on this shelf were $8.99 and $9.99 from Ross...
It is perfect for what I needed it.. I was able to simplify my life by organizing things into each bin!
Oh that was the other thing that helps.. SIMPLIFY! We all tend to gather things.. the ONLY positive thing I can say about moving is the ability to simplify every few years. Having to pack and unpack and reorganize definitely makes you declutter on a normal basis with the military.
I wish I had before and after shots of my recent organization marathons but I keep forgetting (I get into gotta get it done mode)...
And believe me.. it all goes to pot a lot too and I have redo it all. It happens.. TO EVERYONE.. And I am sure we all get embarrassed over how our homes look.. Lord knows if someone were to step into mine right now they would wonder what the heck people were asking me for advice for haha... (my floors are a disaster, toys everywhere, dishes all over the kitchen, bathrooms need scrubbing etc)... but I promise, once you make it a habit to organize, maybe it will be fun for you too, and help destress your life a little..
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