Here is the one thing I will always say motherhood has taught me... What you once thought you knew about parenthood BEFORE you had kids, just crumble it up, stomp on it, set it on fire and throw that s*** out... because that three year old you love so much just took every single thought you ever knew about being a parent and proved it unimportant or blatantly wrong.
To say one's life is "easy" or "without troubles" is just silly. Yes we can chose whether to focus on the positive or on the negative but each life comes with struggles and triumphs, mountains and valleys. As a self proclaimed "know it all" once when it came to how to raise children, I realize now I should have smacked myself a good one and just accepted that you live and you learn, each child/family dynamic is different.. and here is the kicker, WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER. So when condemning that mother whose child is screaming in the aisle at the grocery store while she stands there completely embarrassed and seemingly overwhelmed, think twice... because one day.. you WILL stand in those shoes too.. So give her an understanding look.. or a "we have all been there.. keep up the good work mom." Because the LAST thing she needs, is the "stare"... you know the judgmental one that could set fires in her. Build her up..even if she is wrong.. still build her up with love.. not condemnation.
Parenthood and raising our children should be a village effort. I can remember growing up and going to church and knowing that if I was bad, there would be about ten different "mamas" in hearing distance that would quickly discipline me if I needed it. I knew that they would not hold back because they got it.. the church was a village, they were there to help mold me into who I am today.. and let me tell you.. I could not be more thankful. When my mom had had enough, I know that those ladies would help out. They would lend a hand, ear, or shoulder whenever she needed. Their doors were always open to us kiddos. That village was a strong one lemme tell you. And I miss it. It was my safe place as a child. As an adult, and a mother, I am searching for that village for my children. For me as a mother, that support system is SO important. As a Christian, it is crucial to my inner most being. God calls us to love each other. And not simply the love in good times, but love in those hard times. Those times where you see someone hurting, fighting to stay above water... those are the times where we should love.
So I guess here is the end of my rant...(and believe me.. I need this statement on a daily basis as well) When feeling the urge to condemn, judge or "advise" someone in a negative way.. instead look for a way to build them up in love.. Offer a helping hand, a few words of ENCOURAGEMENT (and I mean encouragement... not something with a hidden meaning), a prayer, a common understanding etc...
As for me.. I am going to continue loving my kiddos through thick and thin.. however.. on these bad days (and yes there seem to be more of those then good with a sick 3 month old and a testy three year old).. I will chose to wallow in self pity for a few moments and then remember I am blessed.. I am loved.. and this too shall pass.... But for now.. I need a glass of wine, a huge hug from my husband and a NAP!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Run down
As a stay at home mom of two boys (wow I really just wrote that.. TWO BOYS.. ahh) I have a tendency to feel very run down by the repetition of my day to day.. Wake up , feed baby, change diaper, clean bottles, cook breakfast, wake up three year old, make breakfast, chug coffee, play, fight with baby to go to sleep, gets him to sleep, brother wakes up baby.. etc and so on ALL DAY LONG and lets not even get into the whole running a household and trying to do errands and please my husband and get dinner on the table... Leaves VERY LITTLE time for just me! It has all compounded hard on me these past few months with Aiden being quite a difficult little man to soothe and Jaxon being such a go go go go go child. He is not used to being cramped at home all day and definitely not ok with being sent to play on his own while mommy focuses all of her attention on someone else. So needless to say my stress level has been maxed out lately..
Now some may find this as odd but oh well.. it is me and I have come to simply accept my uniqueness and Thank my wonderful Creator for giving me my gifts, but when I get stressed I clean. I am usually quite OCD anyway and well even with two kids I try my hardest to keep everything running smoothly. A unorganized mess can lead me into an anxiety attack quicker than anything else in the world. So you can only imagine the state of my house after a) moving across the country WHILE pregnant and b) having a newborn who consumes every ounce of energy you have... Needless to say at any given moment I could break down at the sight of my house and the state of my "stuff" that was strewn all over. I was utterly embarrassed if anyone came over and still am at times.
So now that my little man is consistently taking better naps IN HIS CRIB (and not on me).. and my bigger little man is still napping and going to preschool, I am slowly finding the time to organize and beautify my home again, to my standards.
Now here is the thing. I have had a lot of my friends and acquaintances ask for advice on organizing from a complete wreck... well here is my advice.. ONE STEP AT A TIME.. one item at a time.. one room, one shelf etc..
Here is my strategy when going through my home right now..
1) Access your stuff and your home..
Go through each room and establish your purpose for that room and try to envision the room how you want it with what you want in it.
2) Start sorting your piles..
Here is where it gets tricky for me... Pick a pile.. any pile.. go through it.. not organizing it per-say but instead throwing it in the room in which it belongs. By the end of your "piles" you will have one BIG MESS in each room..
3) pick a room any room
Now comes the fun part... pick a room to work on... Now start to "organize" that pile. Make mental notes of any supplies you may need to help organize it better. Baskets, bins, labels etc.
4) Divy up your budget
After figuring our supplies you will need start to prioritize them. Such as.. lets say in the kids play room.. the room that is used the MOST on a daily basis. you desperately need storage, possibly something like a big book case or shelving. Now on those shelves you may need baskets etc to make it "pretty"... but first you need the book shelf.. That would be your first purchase. Now I am NOT a person who buys ANYTHING full price. I LOVE thrift shops and I LOVE a bargain. So Try to think outside the box. Personally.. for our play room, I would have loved a huge bookcase thing from Ikea, but our budget didn't allow this.. so I settled on plastic shelving from lowes for $19.99 and it works for us for now. The key for me was to get toys up and off the floor. Oh and repurpose things.. I do it all the time.. Use an empty cereal box (painted or covered with scrapbook paper) as a way to collect coloring books etc..
5) be realistic... if you have children who are anything like my three year old.. toys are a huge problem. And picking up those toys can lead to major meltdowns, especially if they do not put them right back where you had them.. thus causing chaos.. this is where I LOVE BUCKETS.. they have these $5 plastic buckets at walmart that I loaded up on... It is much easier to get Jaxon to throw his toys in a bucket then to put them on a shelf. We make a game of it... Then while the toys may not be aesthetically displayed on a shelf, they are at least in one area off the floor!
6) Reaccess... once you have gone through and slowly purchased things to help organize (PS my favorite buys are always from Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Homegoods and even the dollartree.. never ever ever buy baskets from target, pier one, Michaels etc without checking these places first)... Go back through and re-access your organization. Sometimes you will find things that just don't work. This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I will give you an example in a bit.
7).. now here is the kicker.. the #1 thing that causes people to live in chaos again... PUT STUFF AWAY... While in my senior year in high school, I was given the opportunity to live with a deacons family in my church to finish high school because my parents were moving out of the state... While living there Mrs Helen shared with me THE BEST ADVICE EVER... and I still stick to it.. it is the "touch it once rule"... When you have something that needs to be put away... touch it one time. In other words, put it back where it belongs.. By simply moving something out of your way, instead of putting it away, you are going to be using double the time, double the energy to actually put it away when the time comes.. ... I am constantly telling my husband this. Instead of throwing that in the garage.. take the extra two seconds to put it back in the toolbox where it belongs... if instead you just throw it in the garage.. then it will join the ten other things you just threw in the garage until it becomes a big chaotic mess that you have to spend all day Saturday organizing again! .. see my point?
Here is an example of this in my household.. When we first moved in the house I had an idea of how I wanted things. How I thought things would work for us as a family of four. And as usual I was wrong and we have been tweaking things ever since. See that is the thing with organization, it is a never ending process. So on one particularly stressful day, both boys were FINALLY ASLEEP and I started on my quest even though I was exhausted and should have taken a nap.. I needed to decompress (thus organize something). I wanted my computer in a more accessible area. I wanted less toys downstairs (less to clean up quickly when someone is coming over) and I wanted my arts and crafts stuff downstairs so I have it close to work on something fun with Jaxon when/if aiden is napping!... So I set to work.. made piles of stuff.. organized and jotted down what I needed..
I ran to my favorite Ross... grabbed beautiful baskets, set them up and then bam :: Arts and crafts bookshelf:: Plastic bins were from dollar tree.. total for the transformation was like maybe $50... the baskets on this shelf were $8.99 and $9.99 from Ross...
Now some may find this as odd but oh well.. it is me and I have come to simply accept my uniqueness and Thank my wonderful Creator for giving me my gifts, but when I get stressed I clean. I am usually quite OCD anyway and well even with two kids I try my hardest to keep everything running smoothly. A unorganized mess can lead me into an anxiety attack quicker than anything else in the world. So you can only imagine the state of my house after a) moving across the country WHILE pregnant and b) having a newborn who consumes every ounce of energy you have... Needless to say at any given moment I could break down at the sight of my house and the state of my "stuff" that was strewn all over. I was utterly embarrassed if anyone came over and still am at times.
So now that my little man is consistently taking better naps IN HIS CRIB (and not on me).. and my bigger little man is still napping and going to preschool, I am slowly finding the time to organize and beautify my home again, to my standards.
Now here is the thing. I have had a lot of my friends and acquaintances ask for advice on organizing from a complete wreck... well here is my advice.. ONE STEP AT A TIME.. one item at a time.. one room, one shelf etc..
Here is my strategy when going through my home right now..
1) Access your stuff and your home..
Go through each room and establish your purpose for that room and try to envision the room how you want it with what you want in it.
2) Start sorting your piles..
Here is where it gets tricky for me... Pick a pile.. any pile.. go through it.. not organizing it per-say but instead throwing it in the room in which it belongs. By the end of your "piles" you will have one BIG MESS in each room..
3) pick a room any room
Now comes the fun part... pick a room to work on... Now start to "organize" that pile. Make mental notes of any supplies you may need to help organize it better. Baskets, bins, labels etc.
4) Divy up your budget
After figuring our supplies you will need start to prioritize them. Such as.. lets say in the kids play room.. the room that is used the MOST on a daily basis. you desperately need storage, possibly something like a big book case or shelving. Now on those shelves you may need baskets etc to make it "pretty"... but first you need the book shelf.. That would be your first purchase. Now I am NOT a person who buys ANYTHING full price. I LOVE thrift shops and I LOVE a bargain. So Try to think outside the box. Personally.. for our play room, I would have loved a huge bookcase thing from Ikea, but our budget didn't allow this.. so I settled on plastic shelving from lowes for $19.99 and it works for us for now. The key for me was to get toys up and off the floor. Oh and repurpose things.. I do it all the time.. Use an empty cereal box (painted or covered with scrapbook paper) as a way to collect coloring books etc..
5) be realistic... if you have children who are anything like my three year old.. toys are a huge problem. And picking up those toys can lead to major meltdowns, especially if they do not put them right back where you had them.. thus causing chaos.. this is where I LOVE BUCKETS.. they have these $5 plastic buckets at walmart that I loaded up on... It is much easier to get Jaxon to throw his toys in a bucket then to put them on a shelf. We make a game of it... Then while the toys may not be aesthetically displayed on a shelf, they are at least in one area off the floor!
6) Reaccess... once you have gone through and slowly purchased things to help organize (PS my favorite buys are always from Ross, TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Homegoods and even the dollartree.. never ever ever buy baskets from target, pier one, Michaels etc without checking these places first)... Go back through and re-access your organization. Sometimes you will find things that just don't work. This happens to me ALL THE TIME! I will give you an example in a bit.
7).. now here is the kicker.. the #1 thing that causes people to live in chaos again... PUT STUFF AWAY... While in my senior year in high school, I was given the opportunity to live with a deacons family in my church to finish high school because my parents were moving out of the state... While living there Mrs Helen shared with me THE BEST ADVICE EVER... and I still stick to it.. it is the "touch it once rule"... When you have something that needs to be put away... touch it one time. In other words, put it back where it belongs.. By simply moving something out of your way, instead of putting it away, you are going to be using double the time, double the energy to actually put it away when the time comes.. ... I am constantly telling my husband this. Instead of throwing that in the garage.. take the extra two seconds to put it back in the toolbox where it belongs... if instead you just throw it in the garage.. then it will join the ten other things you just threw in the garage until it becomes a big chaotic mess that you have to spend all day Saturday organizing again! .. see my point?
Here is an example of this in my household.. When we first moved in the house I had an idea of how I wanted things. How I thought things would work for us as a family of four. And as usual I was wrong and we have been tweaking things ever since. See that is the thing with organization, it is a never ending process. So on one particularly stressful day, both boys were FINALLY ASLEEP and I started on my quest even though I was exhausted and should have taken a nap.. I needed to decompress (thus organize something). I wanted my computer in a more accessible area. I wanted less toys downstairs (less to clean up quickly when someone is coming over) and I wanted my arts and crafts stuff downstairs so I have it close to work on something fun with Jaxon when/if aiden is napping!... So I set to work.. made piles of stuff.. organized and jotted down what I needed..
I ran to my favorite Ross... grabbed beautiful baskets, set them up and then bam :: Arts and crafts bookshelf:: Plastic bins were from dollar tree.. total for the transformation was like maybe $50... the baskets on this shelf were $8.99 and $9.99 from Ross...
It is perfect for what I needed it.. I was able to simplify my life by organizing things into each bin!
Oh that was the other thing that helps.. SIMPLIFY! We all tend to gather things.. the ONLY positive thing I can say about moving is the ability to simplify every few years. Having to pack and unpack and reorganize definitely makes you declutter on a normal basis with the military.
I wish I had before and after shots of my recent organization marathons but I keep forgetting (I get into gotta get it done mode)...
And believe me.. it all goes to pot a lot too and I have redo it all. It happens.. TO EVERYONE.. And I am sure we all get embarrassed over how our homes look.. Lord knows if someone were to step into mine right now they would wonder what the heck people were asking me for advice for haha... (my floors are a disaster, toys everywhere, dishes all over the kitchen, bathrooms need scrubbing etc)... but I promise, once you make it a habit to organize, maybe it will be fun for you too, and help destress your life a little..
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Oh where Oh where has my little blogger gone... oh where oh where could she be??
Oh goodness. I honestly have NO clue where to even begin this post other than to say our life has been anything but calm the past few months. My last post, showing the canvas photo project, was probably my last DIY project that I have had time to even think about!
My little man Aiden made his arrival on Christmas Eve. It was quite a funny story and quick easy labor believe it or not. God may have not blessed me with the easiest babies or pregnancies but man he blessed me with quick worry free labor and delivery with both of my boys. I sat there Christmas eve morning just hanging out on the couch after taking Jaxon to the doctor for a horrid cold that wouldn't let up. Jaxon was outside with Alan and I had been having pains all morning but attributed it to moving around our living room by myself.. yea nesting mode hits an OCD prego REALLY HARD. So I took a rest on the couch while watching pioneer woman. After about an hour I decided to actually time my "pains." See these "pains" were never really felt with Jaxon. I did not notice I was in labor the morning of our induction with him. When I arrived at the hospital they "informed" me I was in labor already... so this whole labor pains thing was new to me without the good ol' pitocin. well sure enough.. they were about 7 minutes apart. As I laid there by myself, my boys out and about and my mother had run to the grocery store to gather supplies for a Christmas day lunch, I worried about whether I was being "that prego" who always thought she was in labor only to be turned away. So I called the doctor anyway. They said to be safe to come on in, considering I was 39 weeks. I gathered up my things, grabbed Alan and called my mom to come on back so she could care for Jaxon. Alan and I reluctantly went to the hospital with bags in tow.
Now here is the funny part. As we were arriving the contractions were getting stronger. I knew they were real now. We go in the hospital, completely lost because we weren't able to go to the class that shows you where everything is. This hospital is a tiny catholic hospital and all desk attendants are old and volunteers. Well it must have been our lucky day because we walked and there sat two people on their first day as volunteers. My husband, always the jokster in stressful situations, asked them, "so where do we go to have a baby" in a very sarcastic tone. The people just stared blankly at us for a moment. They had no idea... So here was my thought process, while standing there contracting every 5 minutes or so, knowing good and well that another contraction was on its way in like 2 minutes, shouldn't the general floorplan of the hospital be one of the FIRST things covered when assigning volunteers to the WELCOME DESK!They quickly scrambled to find the number to someone who could help. Then they couldn't figure out how to use the phone (yet another DUH should have been on the "how to be a hospital volunteer" requirements)... Well by then the contraction was coming. My husband, poor thing, stood there calm as could be... I on the other hand, clearly on edge, walked right past them and proclaimed I could not wait around for them.. that we would have to walk and find it on our own.....
So up the elevator we went... turns out it was on the second floor right above where we were... literally to the left of the elevator. We waltzed in and declared I was in labor and quickly we were shown a room. Quick change into a gown and the nerves started as the nurse hooked me up to every wire in the room. Now here is the annoying part. As soon as the hooks everything up the contractions STOP.. She did a quick check, assured me I was only like 1-2 centimeters and that since the contractions stopped it was my choice whether to stay or to go. If I stayed they would just go ahead and induce, which I was scheduled for two days later anyway. Or I could go home and just wait it out. We thought about it long and hard and decided to go just on home. As she was unhooking me from everything and about to take off my wristbands, she decided to go ahead and check me one more time... and well.. I progressed to a 5 in less that 20 minutes... So we stayed.. the rest was a whirl wind. I arrived at the hospital at 2pm and Aiden was born at 5:32. Epidural didn't work as well as with Jaxon, so while I was in much more pain, it was easier to push.
After I felt amazing. No tearing, No stitches. No nothing. Crazy!
Well the next few weeks have been complete chaos. Nursing turned out to be A LOT more challenging than I was praying it would be. Two stints of mastitis, thrush, latching issues, engorgement, and finally a milk protein allergy. But we are finally doing well. Aiden is sleeping better and eating like a champ and while he is extremely attached to me, his little personality is coming out more and more.
Adapting to a family of 4 has been terribly difficult for me though. The mommy guilt of throwing Jaxon's entire world for a loop is a hard pill to swallow. The first month he did great. However, the realization that mommy can't simply jump when he needs something is very difficult for him to understand and the acting out has been in full force lately.
I am continuing to work at it daily and I am SO thankful for preschool those precious three mornings a week.
This blog is obviously lower on my priority list but I have SO many things I cannot wait to write about.
My recipes are forming out of necessity for QUICK fix meals with the use of only one hand (baby in the other).. and ones that Jaxon can help with.
My DIY things are definitely on hold until I can get these two on the same consistent nap schedule (and some time to myself as well as sleep)
As far as organizational tips. Oh I cannot wait to get this one started. I honestly feel the key to my sanity is organization and function. With this move, which was SO unorganized and wild, I have come to appreciate my zany need for things to be neat and tidy, and now my husband understands even more so why I feel that way. My kiddos will one day, but for now it is a battle daily to keep the house even remotely mess free! Simplicity, I am learning that art!
So please bare with me as I learn to manage my time, energy and priorities!
My little man Aiden made his arrival on Christmas Eve. It was quite a funny story and quick easy labor believe it or not. God may have not blessed me with the easiest babies or pregnancies but man he blessed me with quick worry free labor and delivery with both of my boys. I sat there Christmas eve morning just hanging out on the couch after taking Jaxon to the doctor for a horrid cold that wouldn't let up. Jaxon was outside with Alan and I had been having pains all morning but attributed it to moving around our living room by myself.. yea nesting mode hits an OCD prego REALLY HARD. So I took a rest on the couch while watching pioneer woman. After about an hour I decided to actually time my "pains." See these "pains" were never really felt with Jaxon. I did not notice I was in labor the morning of our induction with him. When I arrived at the hospital they "informed" me I was in labor already... so this whole labor pains thing was new to me without the good ol' pitocin. well sure enough.. they were about 7 minutes apart. As I laid there by myself, my boys out and about and my mother had run to the grocery store to gather supplies for a Christmas day lunch, I worried about whether I was being "that prego" who always thought she was in labor only to be turned away. So I called the doctor anyway. They said to be safe to come on in, considering I was 39 weeks. I gathered up my things, grabbed Alan and called my mom to come on back so she could care for Jaxon. Alan and I reluctantly went to the hospital with bags in tow.
Now here is the funny part. As we were arriving the contractions were getting stronger. I knew they were real now. We go in the hospital, completely lost because we weren't able to go to the class that shows you where everything is. This hospital is a tiny catholic hospital and all desk attendants are old and volunteers. Well it must have been our lucky day because we walked and there sat two people on their first day as volunteers. My husband, always the jokster in stressful situations, asked them, "so where do we go to have a baby" in a very sarcastic tone. The people just stared blankly at us for a moment. They had no idea... So here was my thought process, while standing there contracting every 5 minutes or so, knowing good and well that another contraction was on its way in like 2 minutes, shouldn't the general floorplan of the hospital be one of the FIRST things covered when assigning volunteers to the WELCOME DESK!They quickly scrambled to find the number to someone who could help. Then they couldn't figure out how to use the phone (yet another DUH should have been on the "how to be a hospital volunteer" requirements)... Well by then the contraction was coming. My husband, poor thing, stood there calm as could be... I on the other hand, clearly on edge, walked right past them and proclaimed I could not wait around for them.. that we would have to walk and find it on our own.....
So up the elevator we went... turns out it was on the second floor right above where we were... literally to the left of the elevator. We waltzed in and declared I was in labor and quickly we were shown a room. Quick change into a gown and the nerves started as the nurse hooked me up to every wire in the room. Now here is the annoying part. As soon as the hooks everything up the contractions STOP.. She did a quick check, assured me I was only like 1-2 centimeters and that since the contractions stopped it was my choice whether to stay or to go. If I stayed they would just go ahead and induce, which I was scheduled for two days later anyway. Or I could go home and just wait it out. We thought about it long and hard and decided to go just on home. As she was unhooking me from everything and about to take off my wristbands, she decided to go ahead and check me one more time... and well.. I progressed to a 5 in less that 20 minutes... So we stayed.. the rest was a whirl wind. I arrived at the hospital at 2pm and Aiden was born at 5:32. Epidural didn't work as well as with Jaxon, so while I was in much more pain, it was easier to push.
After I felt amazing. No tearing, No stitches. No nothing. Crazy!
Well the next few weeks have been complete chaos. Nursing turned out to be A LOT more challenging than I was praying it would be. Two stints of mastitis, thrush, latching issues, engorgement, and finally a milk protein allergy. But we are finally doing well. Aiden is sleeping better and eating like a champ and while he is extremely attached to me, his little personality is coming out more and more.
Adapting to a family of 4 has been terribly difficult for me though. The mommy guilt of throwing Jaxon's entire world for a loop is a hard pill to swallow. The first month he did great. However, the realization that mommy can't simply jump when he needs something is very difficult for him to understand and the acting out has been in full force lately.
I am continuing to work at it daily and I am SO thankful for preschool those precious three mornings a week.
This blog is obviously lower on my priority list but I have SO many things I cannot wait to write about.
My recipes are forming out of necessity for QUICK fix meals with the use of only one hand (baby in the other).. and ones that Jaxon can help with.
My DIY things are definitely on hold until I can get these two on the same consistent nap schedule (and some time to myself as well as sleep)
As far as organizational tips. Oh I cannot wait to get this one started. I honestly feel the key to my sanity is organization and function. With this move, which was SO unorganized and wild, I have come to appreciate my zany need for things to be neat and tidy, and now my husband understands even more so why I feel that way. My kiddos will one day, but for now it is a battle daily to keep the house even remotely mess free! Simplicity, I am learning that art!
So please bare with me as I learn to manage my time, energy and priorities!
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